Tuesday 11 January 2011

My Little Annoyances

For the first time ever, I am going for the classic rant. I feel very tired lately and am finding a lot of things annoying me. Little things that really annoy me but really shouldn't. Here are but a few.

1. What is the point in buttons for fastening duvet covers?
When I want to wash my bedding I don't want to spend minutes un-buttoning all the buttons. I want to rip press studs open. In fact, what is the point in buttons at all?

2. People who work in mobile phone shops and know nothing about phones or computer shops and know nothing about computers.
If there is ever anything wrong with your phone or your line rental or your bill you have to send it off, they can't do anything in store. So basically, they are only there to put phones in carrier bags and punch numbers in tills. I'll tell you what, I'll train a fucking monkey to do that. As for high street computer stores: 'yes sir this computer has a trial version of office 2010, you just put this product key in to upgrade it to full version. you get it for mega cheap' Yes it was mega cheap, because when I got it home did the computer balls have office 2010. Knobs

3. Loud clocks
Seriously? What is the point? Why do I need to hear a clock when I'm trying to sleep or just sit quietly? I do not need to hear the seconds pass by. It's pointless. If I want to hear seconds pass aloud I will buy a metronome.

4. People who help to 'carry' something for you
Ever been carrying a large heavy object such as a TV, sofa or fridge and you have the useless friend hanging round?  They watch you struggle for a while and then decide to 'help' but just stand in the total wrong position and take no weight. And then to make it worse they give advice about carrying it. Seriously, I like you but just go away and come back once I've shifted this. Thanks.

5. Panic shoppers at Christmas
At Christmas most supermarkets are shut for maybe 2 days, so why do people insist on shopping and buying 3 times the amount they would usually buy.  Surely you only go to the supermarket once a week, so just go a couple of days before Christmas then between Christmas and New Year and this should be fine. We all need bread, so don't buy 7 loaves and empty the shelves.

6. Panic buyers in the sales.
I was horrified watching the news on boxing day this year to see the screaming customers heading out to the January sales. People going shopping at 5am, queueing outside, and then fighting over last items on shelves. So that £20 top you like is now £12. Yeah, thats worth getting up at 4am and fighting for.

7. The news and the media
We livein a world where people panic and react so negatively when the weather changes. It snows and the whole of the UK lock themselves away and hide in their houses. People stock up on food in case they can never leave the house again? I really feel like the media cause this hysteria. A 30 minute news programme is 25 minutes worth of snow related news: 'only travel in necessary', 'schools close for fourth day', 'make sure you wrap up warm, OR YOU MAY DIE!' It's a couple inches of snow, get a grip.

8. Lazy, fat people.
I hate fat people, who say they want to lose weight and then you see them at the McDonalds drive-through and then driving to their local shop which is only a 10 minute walk. They then complain that they are fat. Just think about it. Little steps guys...little steps.

9. People who use their debit/credit card to buy something that costs a couple of pounds.
This is particularly annoying when they are queueing in fornt of me. Why don't you just carry like £30 in your wallet for such purchases. It will save time and you never know when you may need cash.

10. Facebook 'places'
Who cares where you are all of the time. I don't care if you are in bed. Stop playing on facebook whilst in bed. And stop advertising that you are out and about with whoever you live with. You may as well have a t-shirt that says 'My address is ........... my house is empty. Please rob me'

11. Text messages
Don't text me for the first time in months if when I reply you don't. It a waste of one my free messages.

12.  Comedians who aren't funny.
Some comedians seem to be on every comedy program on TV and yet they only have maybe 10 jokes. They seem to link any topic to one of these jokes. They have a limited shelf life for sure.

13.  Commentators who don't speak.
Tim Henman at Wimbledon. Don't put him in the commentary box. He only speaks if he is asked a question. I could do that. However he would still kick Andy Murray's ass.

14. Mark Lawrenson - Knob

15. Football fans.
More specifically delusional football fans. Its great you support your team, but don't get carried away.

And breathe....this list could continue. But I now have a new annoyance.....16. Typing

Tuesday 4 January 2011

The pain of blogging!

I am not ashamed to say it, I'm an attention seeker and if I'm totally honest part of the reason for starting a blog was my love of attention and being centre of attention. The initial excitement of seeing my page had been viewed was amazing. Then seeing my page had been viewed outside of the UK was the best. Seeing my page views get to 600 just made me want to get to 1000.

But then came my main problem.....I HAVE NO MATERIAL!

Some people have stopped me in the street (well a couple of close friends) and said 'when are you writing a new blog?' I would love to write a new blog every week however I am not intelligent enough, or funny enough, or watch the news enough to know what would interest you all (or the few of you I know exist)

I want to be like the Mozart of blogging. I want to knock out a blog on demand. I want to make people want read, I want people to laugh, I WANT ATTENTION!!!

Maybe I will hang up my blogging shoes (I am sure my 8 followers will be detraught by this news).

But on a serious note, please give me suggestions of things to write about.

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