Following the sacking of Chris Hughton, I thought it a good idea to put myself forward for the position of manager. It is the second time I have decided to apply for the biggest job in football, the first time I got no reply and unfortunately after sending this second e-mail still no luck. Apparently Alan Pardew is a better man for the job.
Dear Mr Ashley
RE: Post of manager of Newcastle United Football Club
Following the untimely departure of Chris Hughton, I thought it only fair that again I put myself forward for the position of manager at Newcastle United. You may think that my experience to date is somewhat limited and therefore not suitable for the post. However, I do feel my attributes make me the right man for the job.
As a die hard Newcastle fan, I have been a regular attendee at Newcastle matches since 1995, having a season ticket in the East Stand Paddock for approximately 12 years. In that time I have seen players and managers come and fail at the club. I have seen us relegated, I have seen us promoted and I have stayed true to my club. I have called substitutions that should be made before being made which have a huge impact on the game. On numerous occasions I have correctly predicted the score of matches. I am realistic. I am not deluded. As a fan I understand the football the fans want to watch. I am hard working. I am punctual. I have to have this job.
I don't want to be a man who uses his history of Football Manager and FIFA to try and get a job, but needless to say, I'm quite good at both (Rotherham from League 2 to Premiership. Cool, no?)
I feel the biggest selling point for me is based around the money I could save the club. Below is my proposed payments I will need to consider a post at the club.
Annual Pay: £30000
Bonus for avoiding relegation: £5000
Cup Win: £3500
You will agree compared to other premiership managers I will save the club a lot of money, then being able to put that money in to transfers and new contracts. To save more money I will consider bringing my own coaches who I am sure will also work for a reasonable pay packet. These coaches are Dave Massey, Gary Rose and Wil McCollum. If you require any information about these brilliant men, please feel free to get in touch.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Will Harrison
Oh well, no job. Better luck next time. Good luck Mr. Alan Pardew.
I´ve got a deal for you Will, if you employ me as a coach, I will scout some very talented but as yet undiscovered Latin American players (at least talented enough to get past me with ease). Think Solano, thats what I could potentially get you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the application.....
What I wouldn't give for a Solano like figure in MY dressing room. You have yourself a deal!
ReplyDelete